1. Guild Communication:

Voice Communication

Its important that when we are bitchy and irritable we have sufficient people to yell at or make jokes about. Download Ventrilo, install and mandatory verbal abuse will begin immediately.

Guild Chat

Here we make fun of you. We also bill you per character typed. Never insult people higher ranked or the costs go up faster than your average ISP / Cellular company service rates.

Website

1. Forums – The DL website has forums to make jokes about the you. Join now or send hush money and we might not post those naughty photos of you we have with the blow up sheep behind Ironforge.
2. If you don’t make use of the forums, we’re going public with said photos.
3. Information on how you can keep important people happy with bribes is available on our forums.

Rules of Use:

• Anything goes except Mom jokes without photos.
• Well spoken, well thought out posts and / or responses may result in verbal and mental abuse.

Player Conduct

1. While a member of Drunken Lords; We we ask for all of your gold, gear, and indentured servitude. Cough up the goods or we break out the gimp (aka Nala).
2. You are welcome to play or be how you want to be, we won’t tell you how to play (Subject to the size & frequency of your ‘donations’ to the Guild Leader). We believe ‘actions speak louder then words’, and both of which will be reflected by your position in the guild, or lack thereof.
3. Greed: will NOT be tolerated in any way, shape, or form except by those who have a higher rank then YOU. Players who demonstrate they know how to make payments / bribes will be promoted.
4. /spit command: is taboo. Learn to /swallow to demonstrate your love.
5. Absences: Please send all your gold and valuables to Cenobite for ‘safe keeping’.
6. Alternate chars will NOT be welcome to into DL unless you send the GM more gold.
7. Ask NOT what being a member of Drunken Lords can do for you. Ask what you HAVE TO do for us. Players who think being a Drunken Lords is an easy route to obtaining epic items and gold will be sadly mistaken unless they have more gold to offer ranking members then those who have come before them.
8. Guild Members shall not ‘not’ sell items or services to guild members. If you fail to obtain money for something by giving it away to anyone including guild members, your a ninnymuggins and need to be impaled in your backside by an angry cannibalistic gnome.

Guild Ranks

• New Member – Otherwise known as someone who hasn’t paid up yet. Its like being a new fish in jail. It won’t be long before you become someone’s bitch and are regularly traded for menthol cigarettes.
• Members to Raiders – All ranks inbetween newb and officer. These are folks who’ve been bled of enough funds not to be whacked by a orc named “Vinnie da Fish” but haven’t figured out the right people to do favors for or pay off.
• Officer – Players who’ve managed to pay off the right people, or slept with Immoral.. There can be many levels of officer, it just depends on how deep your pockets are or whether or not you can suck a garden hose inside out.
• GM aka The Tax Man – Only guarantee in the guild is death (from Reano’s aids) and taxes.

Raiding & Membership Defined:

Drunken Lords is a pyramid scheme. We want really cool stuff but we live by our “..work smarter not harder..” motto thus we recruit as many randoms as we possibly can, force them to farm us really cool stuff while we sit back and offer graphic, yet both highly educational & motivational speeches about poop socks, pink socks and pork swords. In other words, you can pay your way to the top and cash in. Its a dog eat dog world though, so you need to amass as much gold as you can from those below you to pay off those above you so you can keep climbing the corporate ladder.

Promotion & Ranks

Q: How do I get promoted?
A: Pay someone higher up. Be smart though, pay off the highest ranking person you can dumb ass.

Q: What does a promotion mean?
A: You had more money then the suckers below you.

Paying the GM is the best course of action however you cannot out rank the GM unless you REALLY got some deep pockets so to get promoted..

• Offer someone higher ranked gold. If the offering is sufficient, and that person is in a good mood, you might be promoted.. or get further soaked.. its random really
• You will raid 17 hours a day at a 2500 GPH (Gold Per Hour) efficiency rating
• All ranks will need be evaluated by the following criteria to warrant promotion:
  • Ass.
  • Grass.
  • Cash.
  • Contribution:
    • Material donations: Its a material world and you best be a material girl bitch!
  • Knowledge: Knowing who to pay to get ahead.
  • Making your quota
• Gear Distribution:
  • Newbies don’t get gear, they cough it up like Ebbit at a truck stop when some asks for a come back.
  • You keep what you ninja unless a higher ranking member breaks out the pimp hand and slaps the taste out yo mouth.

Don’t Take This Seriously.. We Didn’t

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